Adventures in Willamsburg-ing

I've been coming to terms with the events of Friday night
all weekend long.

I don't go "out" much anymore,
and I'm fine with it.
I meet friends in bars, I go out to dinner, I visit people's abode.
I  really like staying in Brooklyn.

When my girlfriend Maddy asked me to go out and see some live music on Friday night.
I said Maybe.
I say Maybe a lot, but it usually means I'm prolonging the "No"
But this was different, and Maddy felt it.
She knew I was actually considering this.
And I honestly was.
I thought, "Hell, why not?"
"I'm up for an adventure!" I told her.

Plus the fact that our friend Meghan was going
and this totally sweetened the deal.
When the 3 of us are together, it's like we're back in Sixth grade.
Even though we've known each other less than 10 years.
Just a natural and fun friendship.
I was totally in the mood for friends.

We hail gypsy cab to Williamsburg to see Javelin play.
I really like Javelin.
I am okay with Williamsburg.

We get there and there is NO ONE there.
Like, no one.  Except the guy at the door and the bartenders.
Did I mention they had free wine from 9-10?
Thank. God.
(Which Meghan spilled all over the counter onto
some guys Blackberry by the by-hilarious if you
know Meghan.)

All of a sudden at about 10:30,
hipsters fill the joint.
Basically The early 90s are thriving amongst early 20 something posers and "fashionistas."
(What's the difference?)
To my right:  Madonna/Jean Paul Gaultier inspired sequin frocks and recreated 20's hairdo's,
To my left: some dude who looks like the lead singer of The Spin Doctors.
Just Go Ahead, Now.


We realize we'd better find a "home base" to see the show.

Meghan is a fucking pro at sitting wherever the hell she wants at a concert.
She's beautiful and nice and extremely passive aggressively convincing.
(Blink, Blink)
A true gift.
When that doesn't work, her eagle eye broadens to scope out a coveted spot to claim as her own.
No matter how drunk she is :)
The Eagle Eye Certainly Broadened in this case. in. point.

One Flight up
directly above the stage
what looks like a V.I.P. area that is clearly
up. for. grabs!
(At least to Meghan anyway)
Meghan just goes and sits there.
No questions, no regrets.

In the meantime,
I'm holding a table a few feet away
that The Spin Doctor actually gave up to Meghan a few mins ago.
With one flip of his dreds, he was out of our life.
But the table remained.
I know, right?
Bitch is good.
We have 2 prime spots in a sea of a hundred or so hipsters.

A pudgy, Brittish Kurt Cobain is finishing up his set of whine rock.
I'm half entertained and half annoyed.
Which is sort of my general consensus about life at this point anyway.

Amy arrives.
First time I've met her.  I like her immediately.  She seems to be no Bullshit.
We all decided to huddle in Meghan's "VIP" spot.
I pay the table forward.

This is amazing!  We have room to dance and no one is in front of us!
We can see the band.
and just enjoy ourselves.

Nope.
You know what they say about, "too good to be true?"

Meghan turns to me (she's a little tipsy-read; drunk) and says,
"I think I just got pushed."
I think she's just drunk and sort of staggery.
I say, "No."
But she looks serious.

"Are we going to get into a fight tonight?" -concerned Meghan
"No! Why would you even say that!" -disregarding self.
"But do you have my back?" -serious Meghan
"Of course." -still disregarding self.

A few minutes pass,
Then I see Meghan talking to the girl next to her
amidst the hum of the 'tragically hip' I hear;
"What's your problem?  Why are you pushing?" f-lustered but confident Meghan
"blah blah blah was here first!" -pushing girl #1
"Well can't we both just share the space?" -peaceful Meghan
"That cute little voice isn't gonna work with me honey." -bitchy pushing girl #1

That started it.  Unintentional Fire in my diaphragm.

"What cute little voice, honey?" -"I got your back" Tracey, coming right back at her.

Bitch turns away, into the her own little corner.
But I know this isn't over.
This is real, and Javelin hasn't even started playing yet.


Meghan is flustered.  She doesn't want to deal with this.  I don't blame her.  Neither do I.
But something came over me.  Something I have never felt.
Complete confidence in dealing with these entitled little C__ts.

So, I trade Meghan places.
I am now right next to that stupid bitch,
on guard.
I could still see clearly at this point.
In fact, I'm smiling.  And I mean it.
This is so not me.  But for this moment, it fully is.

As the concert progresses,
I am getting pushed
like a son of a bitch
by these two
asshole
bully
girls.

Which I knew was going to happen, because if they wanted to throw a punch,
they never would've retreated after mouthing off to Meghan.
Total Coward Bullies.
The worst kind.
Antagonizers with no action.
I've dealt with your kind before.
And won.

It would be so much easier to fight, but
this was set up to be a game of tolerance, patience, and stamina.
And ladies, I don't think you know who you're fucking with.
I have a lot of pent up aggression that I'm just waiting to take out on someone.
If given the opportunity.
Just Go Ahead, Now.


I grew up in a Steel Mill town in Southern Illinois.
A tough as nails town.
If I could make it out of High School without a fight,
we aren't ABOUT to have one here, pumpkin.
This might actually be fun.
The smile is growing.

"If you're not gonna dance, you guys should leave," -aggressive Fat Bitch
It immediately pulls me out of my daydream phase.
I realize my ass is clenched tight,
so tight I imagine it looks like as high as it did when I was 17 years old.
I just smile,
"Get out of my face." Bigger Smile, turn my head back to the band.
Just Go Ahead, Now.
I dare you.


Push after push, elbow after elbow, My psyche begins to slightly weaken.
We're talking 40 minutes here.
I look over and Maddy and Meghan are dancing.
I'm a ball of rage.
I cannot enjoy a minute of this concert.
I am on guard.
Something inside of me says,

"Hey, Trace.  This is a moment of truth.  You're strong enough to really piss these bitches off by not giving them an ounce of attention.  You can do this.  Breathe."
And I started laughing.  I felt another wave of confidence.
I also started mentally preparing to take a hit so I could fucking go crazy on their asses.
It's at this point that I don't really remember seeing anything but this other girls mouth.

Bitch with the gap between her teeth grabs my hand and tries to dance with me.
I push it off, "Don't you fucking touch me."
She retreats a little looking shocked.
The guys they are with are weakly holding her back.
I say weakly because it is clear she has no intention of doing anything
but being annoying.

What's wrong with these pussy bullies?!
I'll tell you, they're just entitled little beasts who want the space.
These are girls that are so used to getting what they want that they can't deal with this.
I love it!
But this
Is getting exhausting!

Finally I turn to Amy who more or less says,
"We're not leaving. We will NOT let them win, just dance and go crazy."
Ahhh-ha!
What I heard was, "I got your back."
That's when it happened.

I fucking went insane crazy.
I kicked their asses....with dance.
haha!  I know but it's the honest to God only way to describe what happened.
I was punching, and going absolutely crazy,
aimless yet poignant thrashing
like my high finally kicked it.
It did.
Adrenaline.
Those bitches backed up off of me.
I wish I had a videotape of the rage that came out
in form of 8 counts.
I imagine it looked exactly like this.....

Afterwards my stomach was in knots.
Aggressive little bitches.
I almost wish I would've just turned around and punched her in her gap toothed mouth.
But this was much more entertaining.

And after that
I totally felt like myself, again.

Oh Maddy!
An adventure indeed.
Just Go Ahead, Now.