"Here's some acid for your face....motherfucker"

The above is a quote from Edith Massey, aka the beloved egg lady from John Waters films.  However I just finished watching a doucumentary called CRAZY LOVE about a real heroine who got acid tossed in her face in 1959.  Her name, Linda Riss and she's my new moderate obsession.  Here's the sitch, and mind you this is a piece of real american history.  Linda was gorge-majorge...beautiful by all standards.  Fast forward to the meeting of a man named Burt Pugach, a dirty ugly poop head who wined and dined her and flew her around in his goddamn jet! Like all too good to be true cassanova's, Burt ended up married and had a hell of problems.  He tells Linda he's filed for divorce but he made the mistake of showing her the paperwork and she researched it only to find out they were FAKE!  She calls it off, ends up engaged to another man named "Schwartz" and all is well with the world.  

Nope, I lied...Burt goes bazonkers and hires two black men to deliver an engagement present.  When she answers the door, thinking it's an expensive gift, she got a dose 

Of ACID TO THE EYES!!!  Blinded her.  

So he goes to jail long story short and she went to Europe (had a blast but never got laid PS) but Burt wrote her tons of letters talking about how much he still loved her.  BLAH BLAH BLAH...acid, bitch, does not fare well with most women.  Linda AINT MOST WOMEN.

According to her friends she was feelin' a little lonely and spinster-like (she was 35 after all) and Burt just made parole.  Yippee!  So she agrees to a meeting.  Guess what?  They've been married ever since.  Guess what else?  He was also on trial again for stalking some Asian bitch! 

Now, although seemingly weak, Ms. Linda is quite the opposite.  She has a flare for theatrics and a mad fashion sense.  Plus she didn't let Acid get her down.  And hers was the worst trip EVER! She is alive and residing with Burt in Rego Park, Queens!!

I would say check out the documentary, but I've already told you all you need to know.  Or have I.....