Tracey vs Alice

I am at war with myself.
Constantly.
Constantly.
My knee-jerk reactions are being suppressed by this new "adult" consciousness living inside of me.
I call her Alice.
I hate her.  But, I respect the fact that she keeps it civil.
Confused?

EXAMPLE:  Walking onto the train at rush hour, I see a woman with dried out, fried, frizzy hair and a pock marked nose running for the last seat.  She is hunched and scowling with no regard for anyone else around her.  Scowling, Running, Pushing for the only open seat.

Tracey says: Jesus!  This old witch, with an ate up nose needs to chill the fuck out, rude.  Rude!
Alice says:  Tracey, (she uses my name), She can't help that.  Take it easy.  Take a breath.  Who cares, anyway?  You didn't even want that seat.  You're getting off at the next stop.

They say that artists are prone to schizophrenia.

EXAMPLE #2:  Two people are speaking another language, loudly, at a rapid rate.

Tracey Says:  wa wa wa wa, dat dat dat dat dat dat, SHUT UP!
Alice Says:  Tracey,  They are merely communicating in the language with which they feel comfortable!   Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean that you have a right to judge it.  Take it easy.  Take a Breath.  Who cares, anyway?  Are they REALLY bothering you?  You've got headphones, use them.

I'm beginning to hate Alice.
I'm beginning to believe she's trying to tame the beast in me.
I'm beginning to wonder if now is the time in my life that this said beast requires taming?
What a pickle.

EXAMPLE #3:  Now.

Tracey says: Fuck New York.  My life is crazy.  Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or sob.  Or kill.  Maybe I just wanna have kids and be "normal" do something where I'm my own boss.  Give up trying to BE something, someone, anyone!
Alice Says:  Tracey, whoa.  You'd be much more unhappy by accepting unhappiness and giving up on what you want.  Take it easy.  Take a Breath.  Who cares, anyway?  You're doing just fine.  Now pour yourself a glass of wine, watch some of the amazing videos you've done with Candy Slice, or go out to dinner with your husband, or with your friends.  You've got options, kid.  You've still got options.

Then again,
Sometimes I'm glad Alice is around.
Thank You.