Ah, the changes a year brings. " I'll change for no one!" She shouts as she falls over a crack in the sidewalk. But, the bitch gets up. The next year re-states to the universe, "I will change for no one!" as she runs into an innocent bystander on the street. This year she mutters "I will change for no one?" a drop of rain falls in her eye and she is temporarily blinded, blinded I say!
Then she stops and thinks....shit, I guess I don't really have a choice, eh? (She's Canadian)
I'll tell you about 30. I don't fell or (really) look any older, but there are certain noticable and uncomfortable things happening. One, my body aches like a bitch! All those miles have definitely caught up with me. (Who's with me, dancers?) The other, and probably the most alarming, is my sudden light-speed hair growth.....Not the hair on my head. EVERYWHERE ELSE!!
Everywhere
Everywhere
Everywhere
I suddenly believe in the theory of evolution. It's a very plausible concept. My tweezers and razor have become my best friend. I can't leave home without them, just in case. My fiance tried to brush a hair from my chin yesterday only to find that it had been rooted and blossomed in my epidermis. What. the. fuck? Thank God he's going through this too, only...differently. It's a funny and endearing thing to find hairs on eachother that don't brush off. Well, with him a it's a little different, but that's another blog!
I'm terrified for swimsuit season, I have a honeymoon coming up and I'm afraid we're going to have to go to Iceland! At least Bjork will be there to sing sweet and pingy lulla-bye 's to us as we flap our hairy bodies together with the hopes of creating a young cub. Now that's a hyperballad.
*DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT trying to conceive on my honeymoon.
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