13 strangers living under 1 roof...Gotta Be Big Brother!

Tis that time of year!

Big Brother, Big Brother!!!

It officially marks the beginning of summer.

If you don't watch this show, you are REALLY missing out.

Especially if you watch bullshit like, The Hills, and Dancing with the Fat Ass.

It is an amazing reality show involving strategy and skill.

I could never do it.

I would freak out about who is talking about me 

and hoping that people wouldn't find out what I said about them.

So it's a lot like high school.

The producers are even using that as a "twist" this season.

It's so beyond worth it to watch!  

Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.  

That's right....3X a week.  

They even have a 24 hour live feed.

Its a voyeur's wet dream!!

check it out.

Seasons Change.....

Summer clothing never ceases to amaze me!

Seriously.

Butt cheeks, muffin tops, and camel toe.

Now that's what I call independence,

Or

Poor fashion sense.

Or

Independence.

Aren't they semi-kind-of-almost-sincerely

one in the same?

check that one off the list!

No No No

Yes Yes Yes

I do not care

Heading back to the NYC tonight.

So excited and surprisingly sad.

I was surrounded by complete and utter love this last weekend.

People always say that you don't have fun at your own wedding.

Contraire, Mon Frair....(spelled as sounds)

My only regret is that my bra pushed my boobs up a little too much.

But, I guess that's not so bad.

I can't wait to see everyone's pics.

I'm dying to see everyone's pics!!!

Fragments....everywhere in my head.

So happy

So thankful

So

so

so

so

tired!!!

NYC here we come.

Then it's Jamaica, mon......

Hindsight is 20/20?

Today Oprah, after 3 years, apologized to James Frey.

(The author she VERY publicy RUINED.)

To Oprah I say:

"Go eat Gayle's Pussy."

The Ballad of Unemployment

This is what I'm NOT missing about being in New York.

All You Need is....

I'm fascinated at how unaware of themselves people are.

I realize I'm not without flaw, either.

However,  I can see the effects that my words and actions and intentions have on others.

My first reaction is to react.

Grind my teeth and sling shit!

But, upon my arrival home to the midwest, my dad instilled a 5 second rule.

When something happens....breathe for 5 whole seconds.

Sounds simple, but when my gut is burning it's the 

hardest thing

in the world

to do!

The bottom line is people are who they are,

but I'm old enough and *wise* enough now to know where my limitations lie with them.

I'm so thankful to have love in my life.

At the end of the day it is

EVERYTHING.

Not even of a sexual nature, but of a 

real 

primal 

heart swelling

unselfish

love.

Of friends.

Of family,

and I just happened to be blessed enough to have the "other" kind too.

But I know it was given to me because I know what love is.

If you don't know what it is,

you cannot be open enough to receive it

because you wouldn't recognize it

if it whipped out it's dick

and slapped you in the mouth.

(Deep Breath)

Five seconds later....I feel much better.

Regis

And just when I thought I could handle it no more.....

The heavens opened up and God said,

"Bitch, get over yourself."

So I did.

I do.

I am trying to.

I got my hair cut at the mall today.

Regis to be exact.  

$33.00, what a bargain!

I tried to throw the "I'm from New York" card around

Erin, as I read on her card with the "Regis" letterhead, was thoroughly

UN

IM

PRESSED!

After the 3rd time I mentioned it she said "Oh, do you live there?"

I was like,

"shit."

But seriously, come on!  Then I remembered.....

For around 3 years I begged my mom to get my hair cut at the mall 

and NOT

in an independent place in and or around my home town.

I got my first "bob" at the mall

I got my first "shag" at the mall

I got my first "period" at the mall

actually, it was Sam's Club in O'Fallon, IL right down  the road.

Either way.  I'm shedding an ugly skele-tor skeleton right now.

With an ascot wreaking of pretention.

I left St. Clair Square with a kick in my step

mainly because the girl that cut my hair

refused to give into my ego.

Wow, I just realized that this trip home is me getting back to myself.

That should be my one woman show title, huh?

"Me Getting Back to Myself."

Oh shit.  

There's the EGO.....

again!

This might take more than the 20 days I have alotted.....